Friday, July 4, 2014

Unbelievable 4th of July with Nancy

I was calm in the morning. I went to school and started to grade a series of assignments. I had to finish it by tonight. The campus was completely closed and vacant. I was the only person in the cafe.


I have been missing Nancy from the morning. I really wanted to know what she is doing. I found an excuse to send her a text message. I asked her about the documents that we were arranging to send to Iran. I sent my message at 3:28 pm, but I got no answer until 3:57 pm. She asked if we changed our mind because she had talked to Martin yesterday about it. I told her that I didn't know that she had talked to Martin. I got no reply until 4:24 pm. It has been killing me because I couldn't wait to get her answer. When I got her answer, I thought to myself "So what? It is true that we are not like before, but I like this girl. Why shouldn't I use my sense of humor to make her laugh?" And I made a joke of her answer, and she laughed. I felt much better after that. "There may still be some hopes." I thought to myself.

"Sir. We are closed," a boy said to me. I looked at the clock. It was 7:55 pm. It was very late. Even gym was closed today; so, I decided to go to that trail near my house before Iftar time. I wanted to call Nancy several times to come with me, but I changed my mind. "It is too soon. I may not be ready to meet her now. In addition, it is very late, and she probably is in her home." I thought to myself, and I didn't call her. I was very close to that trail that Martin called me.

Martin: "Where are you?"
Me: "I am going to the jungle!" (I meant that walking trail)
Martin: "Jungle? Alone?"
Me: "Not a jungle. A walking trail near my home. Yes, I am alone."
Martin: "There is a fireworks show near the place you live. We are going there. Would you like to join us?"
"Why shouldn't I go there? I may see Martin's daughter and play with her. In addition, I am driving exactly in the same direction." I thought to myself.
Me: "Yes. Sure. Send me the address."

I could see some signs in road directing drivers to that event. I didn't get the address from Martin. So, I parked my car in a street to call Martin again. A beautiful rain has been touching my car's windshield lightly. I enjoyed every moment breathing in that amazing weather.


I called Martin again.
Martin: "I am parking my car now. I asked Nancy to send it to you."
"Nancy??? Is she with them? Will I see her again tonight? Oh my God, what a great night! I really missed her today, and now I am going to see her in a special event. Nothing can be better than this." I thought to myself, and ignited my car with an indescribable happiness.

I got there, but there was no available parking place. It took a lot to find a parking space. I parked my car far from the event, and I walked there. The neighborhood had some beautiful houses.


Since Martin had arrived earlier, he was in the event. I called him, and we set a point to meet. "What should I say to Nancy? I may sit only next to her and sometimes put my hand on her shoulder and watch fireworks together. It would be awesome. I hope that they brought something to eat because I am very hungry since I was fasting today. Or we may go somewhere to eat out; it is better. Wow, I have Nancy after a week of missing her. What a great place! Tonight is going to be one of the most memorable nights. This place is beautiful, and I really had missed something if I hadn't joined them tonight. I am very grateful that he called me just on time." I had been thinking to myself while I was walking toward our appointment place and talking some pictures of the area.


It was very dark. I couldn't find Martin, and my mobile didn't have enough charge. I called him several times, but I got no answer. Finally, I could call him, and he found me near the stage. I have been cheesing in my heart to go and sit with them. "Where are they? I can't wait anything longer. Who is with them? Will I be alone with Nancy?" I have been thinking to myself while I was walking next to Martin. We got there. "Here they are," Martin said.



I couldn't see them because of darkness until I got very close. "Where is Nancy? Hey, she is here!" I thought to myself.

"Hello. I am Kayden," a boy stood up near Nancy and said. "Hi," I said; "I don't care if you are Kayden or whatever. Who really are you? Why are you sitting next to Nancy?" I thought to myself. I said hello to him and Nancy and Martin's wife. Nancy had been sitting between that boy and Martin's wife. "Is he a random guy whom they found here and joined them here? Is he Martin's friend or family joined them tonight? Why don't they say anything? God forbid, is he Nancy's boyfriend? No way. There is a distance between them. I don't even want to think like that," I thought to myself in just a moment.

I sat next to Martin's wife. Then, I tried to see if Nancy is sitting close to him. They were close. I couldn't endure that situation. I came all this way to see Nancy, and she was next to a stranger. The music was on, and I couldn't listen to it. I was all in my thoughts. I had no idea who that boy is. Then, I saw Nancy was sticking her hand and her leg to that boy. Sometimes I could hear him saying something and hear Nancy's laugh, but I couldn't say anything.



"He can't be a random guy. Nancy is sitting very close to him and she laughs with his jokes. She likes this boy. But who is he? Is he a family member? He is not a student in our university; so, how does Nancy know him? Martin! Who is this Kayden? No. I can't ask Martin. So, let me ask Nancy. Nancy! Who is this boy sitting in my place? [I could hear Nancy's laugh at this time] How do you know him? NOOOO, I can't even talk to her. What does she think if I ask this? What if she said he is my boyfriend? Oh my God, I can't stay here. I should leave but how? Nooo. Don't cry. don't cry. This is not a place to cry. In addition, you don't know him. What if there is no relationship between them? What if he is her brother? No, he is not her brother; I had seen her brother in FB. His name was not Kayden. OK. What if he is a friend of Martin?" I thought to myself when I was sitting there listening to that stupid music and taking movies to pretend that I am busy.


Nancy asked us to take a picture together. "I don't want to take a picture with somebody that I don't know." They took some pictures. I took some pictures of them. "I always thought that Nancy never knew what to wear, but she looks perfect tonight. Oh my god, she is putting her hand on his shoulder. It seems that she is hugging him. He is her boyfriend." I thought to myself while I was talking their pictures.

Afterwards, Nancy gave my camera to Martin's wife to take a picture of me and Nancy and the other boy. She put her hand on his shoulder and then on my shoulder. "No Nancy, I can't put my hand on your shoulder. Don't pretend that we are still friends. I can't be your friend anymore. Who is this boy? Put your hands off my shoulder please. I don't want to have a picture like this. I don't even know this boy and you are asking me to pretend that I am happy being with you both. I am not. I love you, but I don't know this boy. I can't see you with any other boy. Please don't tell me that he is your boyfriend. Please don't tell me that you love him. Please Please Please..." I thought to myself while Martin's wife took our picture.

Fireworks began. I turned my camera on to take a movie to have a reason of not talking to them. I wanted to leave, but I had no excuse; we were there to watch fireworks.



I was confused, and I was not even courageous to ask them. I watched fireworks, but it was like I didn't see anything because I was in my thoughts about Nancy.



They got tired after 10 minutes, and we decided to leave. I still had some hope that there is no relation between them. "Oh my God. What is he doing? He took her hand. NO. I can't believe what I see. He tied his fingers into her fingers. He is not just a friend or whatever; he is her boyfriend. I am certain now," I thought in myself.

They walked together in front of me hand in hand. We reached next to the lake. Martin asked us to stay there because he remembered that he couldn't move the car before others move their car. So, it was meaningless to leave early. Fireworks looked amazing in the lake's view.




Martin sat next to his wife near the lake. A few steps away, Nancy sat next to that boy, and I sat in the rear. I have been watching Nancy and her boyfriend all the time. They sat next to each other romantically enjoying the show, and I couldn't even imagine that I am in this situation. It was unbelievable. Did they call me to see her putting her head on another boy's shoulder and keeping his hand in her hand? What did they do to me tonight? I was almost good in the morning. I couldn't trust my eyes. "What do I see? Is it a dream or I am awake? Is she my loved one who put her hands in another boy's hands? Again? What life is planned to do with me? Is it real? Am I taking a movie of fireworks bursting in the sky over my loved one and her boyfriend hugging each other? Why should I be here? WHY WHY WHY again and again? I will never forget fireworks in my entire life. I will remember this night every time I see fireworks in the sky. What a night!" I thought to myself while watching them sitting there like two lovers. I watched the fireworks sorrowfully. They were my dreams going up to the sky and burst.



Fireworks ended and we walked toward the parking lot. He grabbed her hand, and I walked in their front to not to see them. "Look at Woody's shirt," Nancy said and started to wipe lawns stuck to my back. "Please don't touch me anymore. Don't pretend that we still friends. I am not your friend anymore. Please leave me alone," I thought to myself, and I asked her politely to stop it.

We got to the entrance.
Martin: "Where is your car?"
Me: "My car is two streets far from here."
Martin: "Where is your car Nancy?"
"Oh my God, they didn't come together. Nancy and that boy came here together. It was the last thing that I wanted to hear tonight." I thought to myself.
Me: "Bye bye guys."
Martin: "Let me drop you at your car."
Me: "No. I will go there myself. It is not that far."
Martin's wife (fading voice): "But there is no street nearby...."

I was shocked. I was shocked more than anytime in my life. I wanted to cry, but I couldn't. I still couldn't believe that these things happened. I walked to my car, but I didn't know how I got there. There was a very bad traffic because of that event. I played a very sad music with my phone and started to think about the things happened. All my days with Nancy from the very beginning when we went to that mall for Black Friday came into my mind. "She probably was with this boy the whole week when I have been missing her. We bought this car together and she gives a ride to this boy. Oh my god, her apartment lease is still in my name. She said she was tired of her previous apartment because she was tired of having a roommate. Did she want to invite her boyfriend over? Was it the reason that she got this apartment? Where will he stay tonight? Her apartment???" I thought to myself, and my heart broke severely again.

I put a very sad music to stop thinking about her while I was driving 20 mph to prevent any accident.

I really shouldn't have driven my car tonight. I was thoroughly in another world. I had a picture of the road in my mind for a second, and it was completely another road when I notice the road again.



I don't know how I drove my car and which path I took to get home. I had GPS, but I missed turns several times tonight. I was close to home that I could cry for a while.

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