A lonely day - Talking to Martin

I had a bad dream last night about Martin's daughter. I saw her was cold, and she was crying. I hold her in my arms, and I started to warm her with the air coming out of my mouth. She started to laugh. "Are you OK now?" I asked. "Yes," she answered while laughing. Then, the ground started to shake. It was my car. It seemed to me that a ghost ignited my car. I left her to take my car away from her to avoid any hurt to her. I came up the stairs, and I saw Martin and his wife. I started to cry, and I told them that I left their daughter alone to take my car away because somebody wanted to disturb her. I woke up. It was 1:50 am, and I was very sad. I don't know why I saw this dream; it might be related to my friend's son whom was sick, and I unintentionally became concerned of Martin's daughter because I love her, too.

It was late in the night that I was looking at my friend's son documents that Martin sent a message in GTalk. I didn't want to talk to him, but I was concerned about her daughter. I told him my dream. He insisted about me, and I told him about my friend's son. I didn't want to talk to him about Nancy at all. I didn't want him to know. I was crying the whole writing about my friend's son problem to him. Even today when I am writing this, I can't prevent my tears. I read about his disease until about 1:30 am. Martin also told me about his uncle who got intestine cancer and died despite of all medications. I am really concerned about him because his situation may lead to a incurable cancer. I used to play with him when I was there. I bought her toys with my money even when I was very poor those days. Seeing his sickness pictures really affected me.

I needed to wake up for fasting, so I went to bed after that. I sleep very badly these nights. I wake up tired and without any hope. Last night I woke up because of that bad dream, and I couldn't sleep for a while.