Sunday, July 13, 2014

Interesting talk with Sawyer

Sawyer invited me for Iftar tonight. I was reluctant, but I didn't reject his invitation. We had a very long conversation and his words were very surprising to me. I met Sawyer a few months ago. I found him a very good boy without talking to him. I talked to him for a few minutes, and I got confused. I could see that he was a good boy, but his words were very different from what I could see. "There was a Chinese girl in our group. I wanted to be with her, and I asked her, and she was Muslim. I came to the US to only have as relationships as I can!" he had told me that time. I had no answer, and I stayed neutral. I had this feeling that I became a bad person, and I couldn't understand people's intentions like before, but he showed that I was wrong.

Our conversation was more than four hours. I just point out a few important things that we discussed.



He: Whom should we marry here?
Me: I don't know. I couldn't find any.
He: I just want to marry someone. I don't want to stuck in meaningless relationships.
Me: It's hard to find a case for marriage here.
He: None of Persian girls is good. Americans expect to have sex with you before marriage. I don't like it. I dated a Persian girl, and now I think that she can't be in my future. I don't want to get attached to someone who I can't marry. I remember when I was a child, and I had a chicken. I used to that chicken that I should get it in my hands while I was watching TV. How can I leave a girl that I slept with her? I can't. Therefore, I should find someone to live with her.
Me: Who was that girl? Was she an American or Persian? (I guessed she was Camellia)
He: I can't say. You may guess, if I answer this.
Me: OK. Sorry. I didn't want
Me: You have multiple-entry Visa. Why don't you find anyone in Iran?
He: I asked my family to do that. I went to Iran a few months ago, and I met two girls, but I didn't like them. They couldn't live with me here in the US.

...

He: I should remove all my university friends from my FB after I married here.
Me: Why?
He: It is because nobody is worth it. A girl showed me his profile, and she had a message from every single boy here.
Me: She definitely didn't get anything from me.
He: Yes. Except you!
Me: Wow! Really? I didn't know that.
He: Yes. All boys are waiting for new girls to ... I checked all newcomers. I found no interesting girl between them.
Me: I didn't check.
He: You should have checked it. Perhaps, one of these boys already took her.

...

He: If I could find someone here, it was better. Who do you know here?
Me: Persians? Helen, Nancy, Natalia, Samantha...
He: No, No,.... (he said no after any name I said). There is no good Persian girl here. I know all about them.

His last sentence made me curious. We continued our conversation. He talked about his life in Iran. He also asked me about my ideas. I told him about my experiences, and he told me about his. But I was curious to know what he knows about Persian girls especially Helen and Nancy.

Me: Why?
He: Samantha... I don't like her. She doesn't have a good attitude. Does she?
Me: No, I don't like her neither.
He: Natalia is a good girl. If you are going to consider someone for marriage, consider her. She is very good.
Me: I don't know. She is with Henry most of the time. She probably is not my type.
He: Helen! Ha ha! I heard that she has an incredibly good temper. She probably has the best temper between all Persian girls, but I know she slept with someone.
Me: Who?
He: It doesn't matter.

I became curious again. Helen was with someone? Who? How does he know this? I decided to ask him later.

Me: What about Nancy?  (At last, the time to know what he thinks about Nancy!)
He: (with grin) Don't even talk about her.
Me: Why? Isn't she a good girl?
He: I don't know much about her. Does she have a boyfriend?
Me: Yes. She does.

...

Me: You like white girls. Helen is very white and good-tempered. Why don't you date her?
He: She has slept with ...[A boy's name]
Me: OOOOOO.. No way!!!!!!!!!!!!! Has she? How do you know that? Did he tell you?
He: I knew it. Yes, he said this.

I asked a few questions to see if he was sure, and he was. I couldn't believe it. It was close that I throw up. Helen??? That disgusting boy? I can't even imagine a girl wants to take his hand. I was thinking of asking her out and knowing her better. Why are these girls that crazy? If I was a girl and he was the last boy in the world, I definitely didn't want to even think about him, but she slept with him. I remembered his words when he talked about losing his interest after his first relationship, and he talked about thinking of having sex with someone just to satisfy himself without caring about that girl, and it really annoyed me. I never expected him to sleep with Helen.  WOW...

He: In addition, she already put a price on herself. Her price is that boy. I am 100 times better than him. Why should I sell myself that cheap?
Me: I don't know. I think it was not her price.
He: But she sold herself to him. She probably sees herself in his level. Otherwise, why did she sleep with him? I am not interested in a girl who is in lower level than me.
Me: I still can't believe that she has slept with that boy. Perhaps,...
He: But she did it.

...

Me: You know, it is OK for me if a girl had a relationship with someone, but it is definitely not OK if she had meaningless sex with someone.
He: Me, too. Although I prefer someone who never had a relationship because I haven't had, but I can understand her if she is over 22 that she needed to have.

...

"Look at this girl," he said, and he showed me a picture of a Persian girl that he liked. "How do you like her?"
Me: "No. She is not good. I don't like her."
He: "NO? She is a good one. Look at her other pictures."
Me: "No, No, No, (passing pictures one by one)."
He: So, who do you think is beautiful?
Me: (Of curse, Taylor! but I didn't want to talk about her with him.) OK. Among Persians? I know a girl who is pretty. She is not the prettiest girl. Perhaps, she is only 20% pretty! (and I showed Shirley's pictures to him)
He: WOW! She is super gorgeous. Let me look at her. Who is she?
Me: She is a girl in San Diego. She is a friend of two of my friends.
He: Friend of your friend? Is she with your friend?
Me: No, my friend is married.
He: Oh, OK. I liked her. Your 20% is better than our 100% (I laughed at this sentence a lot.). You told me that the face is not that important to you, but she looks awesome. (He didn't know that I liked Nancy, too!) Do you think there exist anyone better than her? Isn't she pretty?
Me: She is pretty. I told you that I liked her.
He: Don't you mind if I add her?
Me: I want her for myself. I don't mind though. I gonna go to San Diego this summer to see her :) But she may not be a good girl.
He: Why?
Me: My friend told me that she had a Persian boyfriend, and now she is into Americans. I don't like her if she had many boyfriends.
He: If I can find a good girl like her, I would definitely marry her. O.. she is very gorgeous.

...

He: Even if a girl has a boyfriend, you can easily get her.
Me: But, my experience is that when a girl is attached to a boy, she doesn't think about other boys.
He: Yes. At first, you need to detach her! You should cut her strings and get it in your hands.
He: OK. They weren't good all the time. A long relationship always has downsides. You don't know this, but during years they accumulated hatreds. (This really surprised me because Nancy had told me that day about up and downs of their relationships) The only thing one needs to do is to remind her those hatreds. I did this to a girl.
Me: How?
He: I asked her implicitly about her problems with him during our conversations. Then, I tried to return her problems to her by reminding her like this. "It is very bad that a boy has such an attitude. I don't know how a girl can endure it!" I repeated and repeated this in a month that she hated him and left him!
Me:
He: In addition, she lives far from her boyfriend. No boy can keep a girl with that distance. Girls are different; they can't live separately. If she was far from him for more than a month, then that's it. She can easily move on to another person.
Me: But I think that Nancy's case is different. They are very serious. She told me that their families started to talk, and they are trying to set a time for formal engagement.

For example, Nancy.

Sawyer looked at me very doubtfully with a grin on his face.

He: I don't think like that. How long she had been with her boyfriend? five years?
Me: No, four years.
He: Is her boyfriend here?
Me: He is in another city.
He: It's very simple...
Me: No, his boyfriend is going to transfer here.
He: Because of her? Did she tell you?
Me: Yes.
He: I don't think that. (I had this feeling that he thinks that the boy plays with her, and he will leave her sooner or later. I don't know why, and I didn't ask her)
He: I did this to a girl. She had a chat relationship with me. Then, she got a boyfriend, but she kept chatting with me for two years. Do you want me to show you that Nancy is no different. She leaves her boyfriend easily. Then we can laugh at her.
Me: No. I don't want to play with somebody's destiny.
He: Me, too.

He offered this twice in our talk. He really wanted to tease Nancy. If Nancy was as important as Taylor to me, I would definitely try to get her. I don't mind if someone else loves Taylor, but I would try any chance to get her. But Nancy, no. I just liked her very much, and I know that if she doesn't marry that boy, she would have a little chance to marry anyone else. I know that she will have a painful life with that boy, but it is her decision. It is what she has chosen for herself. I don't want to see her in that pain and that's why I will keep my distance from her, and I will leave her forever.

...

He: Nancy! (grin) When I first met her, I told my roommate, she can be yours; I am not interested at all. Nobody is going to be with such a[n ugly] girl.

Sawyer didn't know that I liked Nancy. Nancy is not that ugly that he thinks. She is average-looking, and she is beautiful inside. In addition, she is prettier than all Persian girls here when she does make up. I didn't want to oppose with him because I really didn't care about Nancy anymore, and I didn't want him to know it.

I couldn't sleep that night at all. I just thought about Sawyer's words. Really? Is that simple to detach a girl? Is it life?

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