It was late in the night, and I was very bored. I missed Nancy a lot, and I couldn't sleep. I came out of my condo, and I sat in the yard. I could hear Patricia talking to another friend. I was in the yard that my roommate left the house. A few minutes later, I wanted to go inside, but I saw that the door was locked. I was with my home clothes. I knew my roommate used to leave on Friday to go to his girlfriend's house, and stay there the whole weekend. I didn't have neither my cellphone nor my keys and not even my car's keys with me. I remembered that Patricia was a friend of my roommate, so I knocked at her door. She opened the door, and I explained her the situation. She called my roommate to go back, and she invited me to go inside and sit with them. I tried to be cool and nice. She warmly welcomed me. Her friend was very shy. She didn't talk much. Patricia talked to me about her today's experience in using a shotgun to hit plates thrown to the sky. It was a kind of sport that she went to. We talked about our favorite things to do for fun. I felt that God wanted me to know this girl. I don't know the reason. She is not pretty at all. She is a little shorty. I don't know much about her, but I feel that she likes me.
When I wanted to leave her, she asked me to hug her. I hugged her very tightly, and she liked it. Her friend laughed at us.
-------
Now, today's story: (I am so sorry that I can't write the whole conversation. I probably forgot many parts, but I need to write faster to get to the story of my current days)
I came out of my home to go to the school. I saw in Patricia in my backyard, and I decided to go and talk to her. I had a very long conversation with her. We had a very long conversation. We talked about many things. She revealed many things about herself to me. She talked about her dreams and the things that she wanted to have for her future life. I talked about my depression and the ways that I came over it. I also talked to her about my opinions about different things. Honestly, she told me many things that a Persian girl never talks about it even if I became one of her best friends. For example, she said that she was discriminated in her school because she was a Jew. She was very nice to me. She also talked to me about Israel and her trip to there.
I had asked Nancy to come to my office and get a check for her apartment today, and she was waiting for me, but I decided to talk to Patricia as long as I could. We talked for more than two hours. At the end, I wrapped my hands over her waistline to hug her. I had absolutely no feelings for her. She was not my type of girl at all, but I wanted to know why God wanted me to know this girl. I hugged her, and she hugged me back. While my hands were around her, I looked into her eyes. She was very happy and smiling. In a moment, I decided to kiss her to see if it has a special feeling or not. Kids, I kissed her on her cheeks.
She: You just kissed a Jewish girl from Israel. You should wash your mouth!
Me: No. Why should I do that. (Getting confused)
She: I am kidding.
Me: Would you like to invite me inside?
She: No, I am good (smiling). Doesn't your friend waiting for you?
Me: Yes. She is waiting for me, but I can get there later. Are you going to go inside?
She: No. I am good.
Me: Are you sure?
She: Yes!
Me: OK. Thank you for talking to me. bye.
She: Bye.
And I hugged her tightly again, and I left her house. When I left her house, I felt that I really wanted to have sex with her. It was very hard for me to control myself. I came to the school, and I saw Nancy. I had no feelings for her. I talked to her a little bit. She was good.
I was in my office, and I felt very guilty. It was sin to kiss her. It was like kissing a potato though. I had no feeling. I figured out that it is very wrong to get a girlfriend like her. It is good for sex, but it is not good for enjoying life. I always had this feeling that kissing a girl should be a very special thing, but it wasn't. I had a short text conversation with her when I was in my office:
Me: I feel guilty.
She: Why?
Me: You probably can guess why but if you don't I will tell you later. I gonna cook something special. Do you like fish?
She: I don't think that you should feel guilty for not doing anything bad. Lol Okay! Yes I love fish!
Me: OK great.
She: Yay!!!!
Me: You gonna eat something that you have never had before :) Special fish that I made myself.
She: I'm excited.
Me: You should be! I will let you know.
She: Sounds great!
I decided to cook something and invite her to my house one day.
No comments:
Post a Comment