Friday, August 15, 2014

A chat conversation with Shani

I sent Shani a text in the morning at 11:15: "I would like to go to the art museum tonight. I would like to invite you."

She didn't answer my text. It made me really sure that she was angry with me, but I didn't want to judge it. I sent her another text at 3:45 pm: "Are you angry with me? Anytime you are done with your job, tell me. I would like to talk to you." I just wanted to talk to her.

I see absolutely no reason for her to be angry with me. I invited her. I paid for her several times. I also helped her a lot, and I was a very good friend to her. Even if she was angry with me, she should have answered my texts. I politely asked her out, and she didn't even send a polite rejection.

She answered my text a few minutes later: "Hi. I am sorry that I forgot to answer you. I am upset, but it's nothing important. I just don't want somebody to invade my privacy and come to my lab or my house... It's not important. I am always grateful for whatever you did for me."

Her message made me sure that she was very upset. I knew that privacy thing was just an excuse. I could read between her lines that she didn't want to see me again. In addition, we were more friends than this. She knew that I didn't invade her privacy at all. We went all many times together. She even let me in her home once. Wasn't that privacy. I was sure that everything was related to that night because her text messages completely changed. She used to use many smilies. She used to write in a way to make me feel she is happy, but this time was different. She even talked about being grateful where the subject was something different.

Me: "I have to talk to you."
She: "I don't want to talk. Sorry. It's nothing special... Please don't insist; it makes me upset. Mercy."

I explained her that it might be a misunderstanding, and we need to talk to solve this misunderstanding, and I would like to keep my friendship with her, but she replied: "I am not intended to break our friendship, and it's not important. I understand that it is a misunderstanding. Just give me some space and let it pass... I should go back to work now."

Her answer was just another proof. Why she needed space if it was not because of that night, and it was only because of her privacy. I even explained her that I didn't go to her home, and I just met my friends in her lab without even asking anything explicitly about her there. So, the only thing remained was that night. It was damn right about it. I should talk to her as soon as possible to fix everything. Time can't help. I should know exactly what's happened and why.

Me: I give you time to. I wait for you to finish your work.
She: No... I am busy...
Me: Your work will definitely end some time. I will wait for you until any time even tomorrow morning.
She: Plz... next week I really want to be alone. It's exactly the concept of privacy im talking about...
Me: No. I should have talked to you that day. It's not a one-sided issue that you see only yourself. I couldn't do my work well these 2-3 days since I figured out that you were upset, and I was not sure what could I do. I can understand privacy and being alone, but I am upset, too; probably more than you.  I can't force you. It's up to you. Either consider only yourself and don't talk to me, or let's talk and solve all misunderstandings. I don't think that the time will help. I can understand you in both cases.

Kids, she didn't reply this. I waited the whole day and the entire night. My eyes got tired looking at my phone to get a reply from her. She should be very selfish that she didn't want to talk to me, or she simply needed some space. I will give her the space that she needs, but I really wanted her to consider me, too.

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