Today was the first day of Ramadan, but I was very depressed. I cried several times unintentionally when I was writing my blog. It has been a while that I didn't spend time for updating my blog. I had a period of depression, and I had started to play chess for a while to forget it. Later, I was busy with my project during the week days, and I was busy with my friends during the weekends. I had so many stories to write, so I decided to write them today. Unfortunately, I am still one month behind. I should summarize some of the parts to make it as soon as possible.
I listened to some Shajarian (he is a very famous Iranian singer) that I could never listen to them before. I wrote stories of buying Nancy a car, and getting her that apartment, and the good time I had with her exactly today when I was in my worse emotional conditions in the past a few months.
Martin's wife sent me a text message and asked me if I could go to their tomorrow night's party for Alexander's birthday or not.
Me: "Would you please ask me this tomorrow?"
She: "Why tomorrow?"
Me: "Because my today's answer is no, but it may change tomorrow. You schedule your plans without me."
I am not really in a mood of going to another party. I need some time to recover and think about my current situation. I tried to think about it today, but I couldn't come up with any conclusion. "I am not in love with her. I don't even like to be with her. In fact, it is not a bad thing that she is not my type of girl. I can be a friend without getting attached to her. I am tired of caring about others," I thought to myself. At the same time, I thought: "I can't see a friend doing this to herself. I can't be her friend. I should keep my distance from her and not to see her anymore. Maybe I should leave here to California. She should never even know about this. Perhaps I should leave all my Persian friends for a while. I wish I could find an internship faster."
I was Iftar's time, and I should eat something. I haven't had anything from the morning, but I didn't feel hungry. I went to the gym to work out then I came home. I was not hungry, but I ate something to remain healthy in Ramadan. When I came back to my room, I started to cry again.
I had a message from a Microsoft recruiter asking me to update my resume and get in touch with her. I will take my chance applying for MS once more. I will also call that Indian guy to see if he can do anything for me.
I listened to some Shajarian (he is a very famous Iranian singer) that I could never listen to them before. I wrote stories of buying Nancy a car, and getting her that apartment, and the good time I had with her exactly today when I was in my worse emotional conditions in the past a few months.
Martin's wife sent me a text message and asked me if I could go to their tomorrow night's party for Alexander's birthday or not.
Me: "Would you please ask me this tomorrow?"
She: "Why tomorrow?"
Me: "Because my today's answer is no, but it may change tomorrow. You schedule your plans without me."
I am not really in a mood of going to another party. I need some time to recover and think about my current situation. I tried to think about it today, but I couldn't come up with any conclusion. "I am not in love with her. I don't even like to be with her. In fact, it is not a bad thing that she is not my type of girl. I can be a friend without getting attached to her. I am tired of caring about others," I thought to myself. At the same time, I thought: "I can't see a friend doing this to herself. I can't be her friend. I should keep my distance from her and not to see her anymore. Maybe I should leave here to California. She should never even know about this. Perhaps I should leave all my Persian friends for a while. I wish I could find an internship faster."
I was Iftar's time, and I should eat something. I haven't had anything from the morning, but I didn't feel hungry. I went to the gym to work out then I came home. I was not hungry, but I ate something to remain healthy in Ramadan. When I came back to my room, I started to cry again.
I had a message from a Microsoft recruiter asking me to update my resume and get in touch with her. I will take my chance applying for MS once more. I will also call that Indian guy to see if he can do anything for me.
No comments:
Post a Comment