Thursday, June 19, 2014

Juneteenth and Camellia

I noticed that it has been a while that I hadn't heard from Camellia. I had asked her to come with us to  a movie, but she didn't even reply me. Even though the event canceled, but I was concerned about her. I sent her a message to see if she was OK, and she didn't say anything to make me sure. I remembered that day when I was home-sick that I needed someone to talk to, and I had no one. I didn't want her to be in the same situation.

There was an event in our university for Juneteenth. I thought that it might be a good idea to ask her to join me. I had a chat conversation with her afternoon.

Me: "There is a celebration at 5:30 pm. Would you like to join me?"
Camellia: "What's that?"
Me: "Music, food. I don't know."
Camellia: "OK. I will come if I could."
Me: "I am waiting for you."

I waited for her, but she didn't show up. She didn't even tell me that she didn't want to come. I was very concerned about her. So, I decided to meet her and talk to her by any means. I didn't want to leave her alone.





Me: "Why aren't you coming? The food is almost over!"
She: "I am not in the mood."

"Oh, she is depressed and she tries to avoid people. It is not good. I should go to her." I thought.

Me: "What is your apartment number?"
She: "I am not home!"
Me: "So where are you?"

I got no reply for more than 10 minutes. I decided to call her, but she didn't answer. I stayed in the line, and I got some food for her to go to her place. I approximately knew where she was. I walked toward there.



She: "I am in a shop."
Me: "I need to talk to you. Could we talk?"
She: "What's happened? I am shopping. Is it important?"

In fact, it was important. I got near her home, and I could see her car there. I didn't want to ask Martin's wife or others if they had her apartment number. I guessed that she was in her apartment, and she just didn't want to see anyone.

She called me and we talked over the phone.

Me: "Where are you?"
She: "In a shop!"
Me: "Are you in Walmart."
She: "No. Why are you asking?"
Me: "Are you in Sara's"
She: "No."
(I didn't want to ask her where she was.)
Me: "OK. Are you alone there?" (She is a liar if she says that she is alone because her car is here.)
She: "No, I am with a friend. Why?"
Me: "OK. Ask your friend when she wants to return."
She: "She returns whenever I decide."
Me: "OK. When do you want to return?"
She: "I don't know."

I hated this conversation. I didn't want to interrogate her. I didn't even want to figure out she was lying or not. I was only going to find a way to meet her at the earliest possible time.

Me: "OK. So, please call me whenever you came back. I would like to talk to you."
She: "You are scaring me. Anything happened?"
Me: "No. I make you sure that nothing has happened. I just want to see you."

She asked several times, and I repeated my answer several times, and she promised me to call me as soon as she came back. I could stay there to see if she was really out or not. I could do many things to see if she was lying or not, but I didn't want to do that. I don't want to prove people they lie. She definitely had her own reasons if she had decided to lie to me.

"Let's think that she didn't lie to me. I felt dishonesty. She couldn't trust me to tell me where she was. Why? All I need was to talk to her." I thought to myself.

My experience says: honest people tell you everything frankly to make you sure that they are trustable. Bad liars lie and insist on their lies by telling you more lies. At last, they make a mistake because of so many lies and their forgetfulness. Good liars lie once, and avoid giving you any more information to figure out their lies.

Camellia is not in the first category. She could say: "I came with my friend, X, to Y to buy Z, and I will be back by T, and I can meet you then." An honest answer to all my questions in one sentence.

I put the food in front of her car, and I decided not to meet her. If she doesn't trust me, how can I be worried about her? At night, she sent me a text message: "I am ready. We can meet now."
Me: "Go and see your car."
She: "What's happened?"
Me: "Nothing. Just go."
She: "You worry me."
Me: "Don't worry at all." (In fact, you should be worried because of not trusting me)
....
She: "You had put a food for me there. Thanks."

She even forgot that we supposed to meet, and I didn't ask her again. I think that it is better to leave her alone. Perhaps, I was over-friendly to her. I could invite Nancy or even Shani and have a quality time with there, but I wasted my day concerning about someone who doesn't care. I scare that I intentionally wanted to find an excuse to leave her to like Nancy unconditionally. I knew that Camellia liked me, and I couldn't like her back, and now I like Nancy, and I don't want to have any reason to come back to her. These are all unintentional things that I am not even aware of them in my mind.

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