Another boring day

Today was another boring day. I came to the university from the morning and worked on my project. I saw Ann in the library when she was going to the cafe. I went to the Cafe to say Hi to her, exactly like what Polly thought me. I saw her face-to-face and said hi Ann. She said, heeiie. And I passed. I came back to the library, and I told the truth to Alexander, and he laughed.

I wasted my time talking to Amazon guys who came to our department. I figured out how far I am from the things that they are looking for. In fact, it seems that my only chance is to start my own company. I need to make a huge different. I am in the library now, and Ann is sitting over there with a male friend. I just look at her every a few minutes, and I think how awesome is this girl. That guy is her friend for a long time. I saw him several times. He looks like Indian people. I keep my fingers crossed that she doesn't want to date him. They are sitting alone to study, and it is 10:00 pm.

It is 10:35 pm, and they still together. Ann please don't tell me that you would like to date this boy. He is on my nerve now. Oh, she passed in front of me to put her coffee cup away. I don't know if she did that intentionally or not. I didn't do anything. I didn't say even a word. Oh my god, she went with an American boy whom was next to her, but he was not in my spot. She looked at me with the corner of her eyes when she was far enough. I looked at her leaving the library with that boy. I felt that she wanted me to know that there is another guy in her life now. Ann, you never could understand that how much I liked you. You always broke my heart.

I am tired, but I should work on this project. In addition, Ann is here, and I don't want to leave soon :) Polly promised me to help me to get Talory tomorrow. Let's see.

Amazon at our univresity

There was an event in our university about Amazon Cloud services. They were looking to fill some positions. I think that Alexander is a great fit for their position, so I suggested him to apply for it. I talked to their engineer for more than a half an hour, and he said, "the position you are looking for in Amazon, you need to stay there for like ten years to get it."

He probably was right. I need higher positions, but I get entry level positions. It is too late to join big companies. I have to start my own. It seems that I am on a right path of not wasting my time with all these giant companies.

Talking to Patricia

I had a super boring day. Talory didn't come to the library today, and I spent a few hours to finish grading those papers. I worked a little on my project, too. Talory wrote this in her FB: "Sorry to anyone whose messages I haven't responded to. I made the mistake of clearing them out before checking them :(" I don't know if she wrote this for me or not. I hope to fix this soon.

I came home earlier to eat something and update my blog, but I couldn't. I saw Patricia sitting alone in the yard, and I decided to talk to her. I knocked at her door, but she didn't answer. I found an excuse, and I texted her to see if she has a screwdriver or not. She found something, and texted me back.

I talked for an hour to Patricia. I didn't ask anything about the guy whom she dated. I decided to tell her about the things that happened to me. I told her about Nancy and Shani. "girls are bitches. I am a bitch, too!" it was her answer. She got mad at Shani at some point, too. I talked to her about Talory, and she promised me to help to contact her.

Me: Do you think it is a good idea to go to her class?
She: NOOO. Are you crazy? You will freak her out. Don't do that.
Me: So, what can I do?
She: Message her, and ask her for a coffee.
Me: I don't have her number. All I have is her FB contact.
She: That's OK. FB is like text messages. But we are in mid-term exams. She may not have time. It doesn't harm to try though. Call me on Wednesday. I will send you what to ask her. You just copy and paste it.
Me: I just met her for five minutes or less. She doesn't know me.
She: She will know. At least, you can make her think about you. If you see her, just say hi to her. You should do it slowly to build it.


Kids, I got a wing-woman tonight. She may be a good help this time. Who knows? At least, now I know that it was bad idea to go to her class.

Party with Jewish people

I went to another Jewish people's group in my university. I didn't want to go there, but Micheal insisted me because he wanted to see their group, but he was too shy to go there alone. I could remember that the first time I went there, and I felt like a stranger, but Sophia made me feel welcome. So, we went there.

Sophia thought me how to make a wish star with paper. I looked at her for a few moments tonight. She really is a good girl, but I don't feel like that I can be her boyfriend. I don't think about her anymore.

It was very hard for me to learn it, but Micheal learned it very fast. I wrote some wished, and I made those stars.

After the meeting, Micheal said that he enjoyed it. He was very happy. "Sophia is a very good girl, too," he says.

My camera got broken

I wanted to clean my camera today, and a little water went into it, and it got broken. It doesn't show anything on LCS, and it seems that its lens got damaged. I am so sad about it. I made a big mistake by doing something that I didn't know how to do it well. I am thinking of ordering new camera from Amazon.

Gatsby party - Party of strangers

Kids, tonight was one of the most different nights that I had ever experienced. I saw that one of my American friends was going to a party called "Gatsby" party, and it had a formal dress code (like The Great Gatsby movie). I was very excited to experience something new, so I registered my name in their RSVP. A few hours before leaving, my friend sent me a text that he couldn't come with me. I freaked out, but I decided to go there. I also took Marvin with me.

When we got there, we saw a street full of parked cars. It was hard to find a parking place. Once we parked our car, we walked to the house. We didn't know what to do. Should we knock at the door or ring the bell? I was very confused that I saw three girls going toward the house. We chased them. They rang the bell, and somebody opened the door.

"Welcome. Come in," she said, and we went inside. It wasn't a big house, and it was completely packed. More then 200 were in that house at that time all wearing formal and eye-caching dresses. It was hard to move around. She sat on a chair, and started a conversation with us.

She: Welcome. Thanks for coming. Who has invited you?
Me: (oh my god! Why does she ask me this?) we are not invited by someone, we just saw the event on fb.
She: fb? Really? I didn't know that.
Me: yes. It was an event, and one of my friends were going to come with me, and he cancelled just a few hours ago, but I would like to meet new people, so I decided to come here without him.
She: you are welcome. Do you know what this party is?
Me: no.
She: we are a part of church, and many here know each other because they go to the same church. This party is not anything formal. Mr. Alferd is the landlord, and he threw this party.

I felt safe after she said that they were all related to a church. I didn't want to be in an unsafe party. It was my first time going to such a place.
...

Our conversation was long, and she talked about the church and the people there, and many other things. She also talked about some single girls and introduced me to them. Afterwards, she introduced me to Mr. Alfred. He was an IT recruiter, and he offered me to find a job for me after graduation. He invited me to the backyard to meet new people there.

I stand on a corner, and I watched people there. The music was loud, and some girls were dancing on the other side. I started to think about it:  "It is awesome. I came to somebody's house without knowing even a single person here, and they opened their house's doors for me and welcomed me. It is something that can never happen in my home country. It is like The Sims game. He got some food, put music invitd many people and did everthing to make them have fun.

I was very shy, and since I didn't know anybody, I was completely silent standing in a corner. Marvin was also shy, but I could see him talking to some other guys there. It was like they became friends. A guy saw me alone and approached me. We started to talk. He said, "there are many single girls here tonight. Why don't you talk to them," and he introduced me to three girls there. None of them was as good as what I was looking for. Then, he talked to me about the people there. We had a short conversation, and a Chinese girl joined us. He introduced me to her, and he left us.

I started to talk to that Chinese girl. We talked about bible, God, her job, my job, and many other things. She was kind of interested in me, but she knew that I was way out of her league! So, she didn't even try to grab my attention. "There is a music there; would you like to dance?" she asked.
"Yes. I like. Let's go," I said, and we joined a group of girls whom were dancing there.

It was "Shake it off!" I love you Taylor. You are my best forever. I knew the song, and I started to sing with the song while dancing close to her. She got amused and surprised that I could sing with the song. She had a feeling like flying, and I could see her couldn't stop laughing and having fun with me. We exchanged FB contacts, but I really didn't want to be in touch with her. I just wanted to be nice to her because she was a good person.

I came back inside to get some food. We met a very popular guy who could steal any girl's heart easily. He was charming. We had a conversation with him. Afterwards, we met another guy who introduced us to three other girls.

We talked to a Brazilian girl, Katrina, who was very sociable, warm and nice. She introduced us to another guy. "Look at these two girls. They are good. Nothing is wrong with them. But I am going to tell you to be careful about this one. Katrina, I am going to say something about you," that guy said, and Katrina left us because she didn't want to hear it. "She is very nice. She just brings your heart out of your chest and beat it and throw it away. It's not her fault. It's only because she is so nice. Be careful about her, and don't give your heart to her or you will be heartbroken soon," he continued. I felt that he was in love with her long back, and she let him down for some reasons, but he was right. Even though she was not that pretty, her nice behavior could attract any guy, including me. I talked to her after that, and we had a good conversation, and I got her FB contact, too.

Kids, I can't believe that I did such a thing tonight. I did something that I could never imagine that I could do in my whole entire life. I get along with some strangers whom I have never met before, and I could make some friends. Later, I figured out that it was a party for single people to meet and find a partner.

Marvin liked it. I liked it, too. It was a truly new experience. I was very shy at the beginning, but I could overcome it, and I started to talk to them. There was not even a single pretty girl that I like there. I just liked that Brazilian girl a little, but I don't want to put myself in a trouble again. I prefer Ann or Talory better than any other girl now.

Confucius memorial day - Alison took my heart with her by passing by

I was in the library working on my project that I saw Alison from the far. She just took my heart with her. Since today was not a working day, I checked the calendar to see if she was planning to go to an event, and I found out that today was Confucius memorial day. The hope of seeing her again took me to that event. She was not there though.

I decided to write something on the wall.

I wrote: "Love is the philosophy."
The guy asked: "Is it from bible or any other holy book?"
I said, "No, it is my life philosophy :)"

We planned to go to a party tonight. I called Marvin, but I couldn't find Micheal. Therefore, I decided to enjoy the performances related to Confucius day.

When we found Micheal, he said that he couldn't come with us tonight. So, I and Marvin headed toward that party.

A waste of time day

I went to a talk today that I couldn't understand anything useful from it in the morning. Then, I spent some time to prepare my resume, and I went to the career expo in my university. It was a complete waste of time. I gave my resume to more than ten companies, but I don't expect anything from then. I spent my time playing chess. I invited Talory to that Gatsby party that I am going to go there tomorrow in FB. I know that she read my message, but I don't know if she would accept it or not. Hopefully, this is just an invitation, and she can simply ignore it. She didn't send me any message, so I think that she won't come with me.

Afterwards, I went to that Christian group. I asked them to pray for prisoners who are in the prison for no sin. Thinking about Mr. Mousavi made me very sad tonight. It was close that I cry there. Martin's wife noticed me, but I didn't tell her about it. I still pray for them every night after saying my prayer. I can have an excuse for every sin that I had, but I don't have any for this one. We should have supported them, but we didn't. They are in the prison for more than four years because of us.

getting more close to Talory

Talory accepted my friend request in FB today. It seems that I was not that awkward the other day. I am trying to know her better. She is single, and accepting my request a good sign. I am a little scared because she is as tall as Taylor! This is one of the links that she has shared.

http://thoughtcatalog.com/chelsea-fagan/2014/08/21-uncommon-romantic-gestures-that-would-make-any-girl-melt/

I think that I like Ann better, but it may only because I knew her better. I knew almost anything about Ann's personality, but I don't know anything about Talory. In fact, I think that it is hard to know someone like Talory. Today I like Ann to be my first girlfriend, but I am not sure about tomorrow.

I will meet Talory tomorrow

I listened to many Enrique's music these days because he reminded me Shani. I didn't know what feeling should I have for her. Should I sing her "Taking back my love" or "Be with you." I was going to buy her Enrique's October concert ticket, but ... I wish I knew why this happened between me and Shani. I reviewed all my memories about Shani several times every day to see if I can find anything wrong, and I couldn't. I think that I could wait for a few more weeks and let her to plan something again, but I rushed. It was not my fault though. Nothing could happen if she really liked me. Anyway, let her go.


I met another girl similar to Ann today, and I got confused because she was very ugly. A few hours later, I saw Ann again. She was with a boy sitting there to advertise their group activities. When I saw her, I realized that I am not wrong that I like her. She is very lovely. I wanted to talk to her, but Alexander was with me. I need to find a right time to ask her out. When I came back to the library, I saw some of her pictures in FB. She had uploaded some new photos. It seems that it is a pattern in girls that when they are single, they upload more pictures of themselves. I like Talory, but Ann is still one of my favorite girls. I imagined her being my girlfriend and going out with my car together, and it was a great feeling. Let's see what will be happened tomorrow.

giving ride to someone for SSN office

It is new semester and many new students came here. I am so grateful that nobody is a reader of my blog again ;) It is ridiculous when a reader of a story jumps into the story and plays a role :)

I helped one of the newly arrived girls to get to the social security administration office today. I talked to her, and I tried to cheer her up all the time that I was with her. Her husband (boyfriend) is in another town because his professor moved there, and he moved with him. I would like to help her as much as I can until his husband come back.

What was wrong

I was very depressed from the morning. I had a bad dream last night. I had come back to my home country to see my family, and I had forgotten to get a visit appointment. I was in the same dilemma that I woke up, and I found myself in my room in the US again. I had this dream many times with slightly differences. I don't know if it was the reason, or it was just because of missing Shani. I came to the university, and I started to listen to sad music tracks.

I met a girl similar to Talory with another boy today. I don't know if she was her or not. It seems that the same happened to her, too. She may have some doppelgangers like Ann. I did a bad thing that I followed her toward the parking lot, and I don't know if she noticed me or not. It is terrible if she had been seen there. I still don't know if she was Talory or not. This girl was a bad girl. I found Talory a good girl the other day. I hope to see the same good girl tomorrow. I am a little scared to see her because of this parking thing. You know what, I was very upset, and I didn't know what I was doing.

I decided to see what I did wrong with all the girls whom I saw. So, I tried to revise my knowledge again, so I went to Youtube again.

This video made me better today because I found my mistakes. This video is complete concise guide that I had to watch it at least ten times to understand all the things explained there. Hopefully, I have a chance to talk to Ann and Talory. I know Talory is not my type of girl, but I really liked her. I saved some of her pictures to see every day.

At last, I figured out what was wrong with getting FB contacts. I noticed that I forgot most of them because I hadn't practiced them for a long time. In fact, I made many mistakes. I regret that I didn't review them before asking Alison. She liked me, but I was weird. I made several mistakes. I didn't engage her. I didn't make jokes. I kept it very short. I asked for her FB contact, and I ran away right after that. In addition, I didn't set anything with her to ask her out later. I wanted her to accept my request, but I never expected it. I didn't show enough confidence. She could be mine if I hadn't done many of these mistakes. Unfortunately, I can't see her in the near future.

I saw Shani in gym tonight, and it made me to feel upset again. I didn't want to loose a friend like this. She was very nice to me. Her selfishness and my inexperience with girls sacrificed this friendship. I wanted to go to her and talk to her, but it could make it worse. In addition, I had nothing else to tell her. She was the one who should have come to me to fix everything. I never liked her the way I liked Ann or Luna or Alison, but she could be my girlfriend if she was honest when she said that she liked me. She was the first girl that I told her that I loved her, and I wanted to be with her, and she said the same to me. Anyway, this story is over, but I hope to be friends again one day. 

Missing Shani after the trip

I got depressed after we left Houston. My mobile died, and I couldn't listen to any other music. I listened to some Enrique's music (its greatest hit on spotify), and it was like changing my mood every second. I didn't know what feeling I should have for Shani. I thought about every moment and whatever she said. After all I did for her, she said that she wasn't respectful to me only because my behavior got weird. Was she crazy? Was that all my mistake? She definitely wasn't worse it at all. I knew it, but why did she act like that? I was very confused and upset for all the things happened. I lowered myself to get a girl, and all I see is dishonesty and disrespect. What did I do wrong? I could go and get any girl better than her. When I was leaving the car, Marvin said, "I knew why you look upset. You wanted to have your girlfriend with you in this trip. Didn't you?" He was right. It was probably the reason of my depression.

I went near her house, and I sat there for about half an hour to think about these things.

I decided not to sell myself that cheap to the rest of my life. I would never find my perfect girl, but it hurts more to be wasted on an imperfect one.

Houston trip - Day 2 - Returning home - DQ sundae

The trip was almost over. We had no other plan, so we headed off to our home. Before going home, they decided to get water from a friend first, so we went to her house.

Her house was SHINING. It was like someone cleans it three times a day and everyday!

Afterwards, we went to a DQ restaurant. It was a new restaurant. I wanted to eat some ice-cream there.

I got a vanilla ice-cream.

Houston trip - Day 2 - San Jacinto monument

We spent an hour near San Jacinto monument, too.

The elevator was $5, and I think that it has nothing special. The view was good from the top of the monument.

The strange thing was that you needed to pay another dollar to look into the cameras. So why did they charge us for the elevator?

A change giving machine was new for me. It was a device that you could put a bill in it, and it gave you changes (for those cameras).

There was a girl in the elevator who was working there. Her job was to push elevator buttons and take care of it. She was on a chair, and she had a book in her hand. It was interesting that she used to use her time efficiently by reading books when it was possible, just like me.

There was also an small museum there. We didn't have time to visit it completely, but it was definitely better than the elevator part.