Downtown clubs

Micheal and I went to downtown dance clubs again tonight. Marvin and his friend also joined us. I got the address of another club from my American roommate. Those clubs that we visited tonight were not like previous clubs. There were mostly like bars than dance clubs. So, Micheal didn't like it. I, however, wanted to have a chance to talk to someone there. But music was very loud, and we couldn't even understand ourselves because of it.

We went back to the same dance club that we used to go. Since I disliked the loud music there, I decided to explore the area. So, I found another store. This one was very different. It was not hot like the first and second floors, and the music was exactly the same as radio musics. There were two groups of girls dancing together. I liked one of the girls. I tried to dance next to them to capture her attention, but I couldn't. Some guys came to them and offered them drinks, but they didn't accept it. A few minutes later, three other guys came there, and they started to dance with that group of three. At the end, the left the place together. It was like each one found a girl.

I looked outside and I looked at the place. "I can't find a girl here at all," I thought to myself, "this is almost impossible. The only factor of choice is sexual attractiveness, and I am not that attractive. In addition, I don't know how to dance with them. Furthermore, these girl are not mostly good girl. They are drinkers. They are time wasters. I can't have fun like they have. I don't like them."

Movie night near pool

I went to another event tonight. It was a movie near the pool. I saw that girl with angelic smile tonight again. She was with her friends. The movie was not watchable because of issues with the sound. I looked everywhere to see Alison, but she didn't show up.

I saw Sophia, but I didn't want to talk to her. I think that it's very wrong to get closer to her as I can't ask her to be my girlfriend at all. Before leaving the place, I decided to talk to that girl; let's call her Lora.

...
Me: You have a super pretty smile, and you are very gorgeous.
She: Wow. Thank you.
Me: You are probably too young for me; otherwise, I would definitely ask you out for a date.

And she was like having flying feeling when I said this to her.

Me: Would you like to be friends? Can I have your FB?
She: (with a very great enthusiasm) Yes. Sure. My name is ... there.
Me: Thank you so much.
She: Nice to meet you.
Me: Nice to meet you, too.

Kids, she was not my type of girl, but she definitely has one of the most beautiful smiles in the whole school. She got super happy when I gave her a compliment. I didn't want to date her, but I would like to have her as a friend.

There was also a short girl with a face similar to animation characters. I knew she was a freshman, too. I wanted to find her alone and get her FB, too, but I couldn't. I watched her for a few minutes before leaving. I wish I was younger! All good untaken girls are freshman and 18. Older girls all have boyfriends, and therefore not available.

I couldn't talk to Alison - First time enjoying DJ Dance

There was a dance party in our school tonight, and I was hoping to see Alison again. She was in many dance parties, and it was very probable that I see her tonight. I was upset because of Shani, and I started to play chess to forget it. I wanted to go there from the very beginning, but I couldn't. I went there one hour after its start. When I got there, I saw Alison and her friends leaving the place. I wanted to go and say something, but I couldn't. I made a very big mistake by not going there earlier. I could dance with her, and it could be a very good ice-breaker. In addition, she was ten times better than Shani in many aspects. I really regretted that I couldn't talk to her tonight.

The dance was very good. I was depressed, and I couldn't dance, but I had better feeling being there. There was a beautiful girl with a pretty smile dancing next to me, but she was too young for me.

I should admit that I enjoyed DJ and electrical music for the first time. It was very good.

We came out, and I felt much lighter. If I could dance with Alison tonight, it would be one of the best nights. There will be another dance party, and I hope to see her again there.

Shani returned my bowl

I met Shani tonight. She was sick or at least pretending to be sick. I asked her to talk to her, and she accepted.

Me: I would like to talk to you.
She: OK. Let's walk and talk, but please no driving. I feel nauseous.

She definitely didn't want to talk to me tonight. She even asked me not to go out with my car to make sure that it doesn't take longer than she expects. I don't know who began to talk about Nancy first, but we had a talk about Nancy.

She: I am upset that she didn't invit me for her engagement celebration.
Me: It was not an engagement celebration. It was her boyfriend's birthday.
She: It was.
Me: In that case, she should have invited me.
She: Why? She used to have her lunch everyday with me.
Me: She bought her clothes with me. She practiced her driving with me. She got her driver's license with me. Her apartment lease is still in my name! Why? I think that they didn't have more money to invite more people. They have a student life. You shouldn't be upset.
She: OK.

I asked her not to be upset, but I was unhappy myself because I really didn't expect Nancy not to invite me. It meant that she was no longer wanted to be a friend :(

Then we talked about her sickness. I took about 20 minutes, and I didn't say anything. I tried to see if it was a good time to talk to her, and it was not. I asked her to sit somewhere because I was not comfortable to talk, but she didn't accept.

Me: I am going to tell you something, but you should promise me something. Do you promise me that not to stop being friends with me after I said it?
She: I should know what that is first.
Me: I can't tell you unless you promise me. I would like to be friends.
She: OK, but how can I know if you don't tell me?
Me: I can ignore it, and don't tell you anything, and be friends. Why should I take this risk and ask you something and lose our friendship?
She: I don't know.
Me: If you can't promise me, I won't tell you.

[moments of silence walking around]

She: OK. I am very tired, and I want to go home.
Me: But we are not even close. I accompany you to your home.
She: No. I would like to go from here. You can go home, too.
Me: OK.

And she left me. She got a few steps further that I said, "Tell me if you changed your mind."

She: About what?
Me: About hearing what I was going to tell you.

She turned her face and didn't say anything. I looked at her going further. Suddenly she ran. I got surprised because she was sick, and she couldn't even walk well. I looked at her, and she put her hand on a boy's shoulder to get his attention. Then they started to walk together in a different path from her place. I looked at them going further and further walking side by side, and my heart broke slowly.

I sat there because I couldn't take any step. I had no idea. She couldn't walk with me, but she could run for him! She probably doesn't like me as much as I do like her. I am just another boy for her to have some possibly casual fun and use me like other and leave me as soon as she doesn't want me. This came to my mind, and I wrote for her

Me: "I didn't know that I was such an intruder for you."

"You are not. Why do you say this? I am not good now. I am bored. I am sorry if I made you upset," she replied after fifteen minutes.

Me: "Sorry, but one-sided friendship is meaningless."
She: "True. But it is not one-sided."
Me: "I felt it is."

and she never answered.

Kids, this was the story of Shani, a girl whom I liked and she liked me, but we couldn't be together because of her selfishness. She knew that what I was going to ask her, but she didn't make me sure that she would stay a friend. You may ask, why didn't I ask her to be my girlfriend? My answer is she really didn't care to have me as a friend or anyone else. It matters to me. I will never break my friendship because of my friend's words, but she wanted to consider this. The fact that she told me that she may stop being friend with me if I say something that she doesn't like shows that she doesn't like me as much as I like her. I wanted to have her as a friend, but I think that it is impossible now. I can't be a friend of someone who is waiting to break our friendship because of some words.

Talent Show

I went to a talent show to spend some time before talking to Shani to relieve my stress. Ashley had a performance. I saw her with her boyfriend, but I didn't get close to her to make her uncomfortable. I was there for less than 15 minutes that Shani sent me a message and asked me to go and get my bowl from her.

Talking to Alison - I am going to talk to Shani today

I was in the library that I saw Alison in front of the library. I had a tough time deciding if I should talk to her or not. Finally, I decided to do that.

Me: Hi. I am Woody, what's your name?
She: I am Alison.
Me: What are you doing here?
She: I am waiting for my class. It will start 11:30 am.
Me: So, you have a few minutes to talk before your class.
She: Yes. I do.
Me: What is your major?
She: I haven't decided about it yet.

... (a short conversation about our university)

Me: Could I ask you out some day?
She: Maybe.

Her answer really confused me. I never expected her to say "maybe" that is the same as "yes" to me. I had no plan for asking her out, and I didn't want to rush into it to lose her. I wanted to let her know more about me first. So, I decided to see if I can see her in the university again or not. In addition, I was going to talk to Shani first. We already had gone more than half of the way.

Me: Have you ever been to the welcome week events?
She: Just a few.
Me: Which ones?
She names some dance events.
Me: There were many events, but you were in dance events only. Do you like dance?
She: Yes, I do.
Me: I go to these events when I have time. I hope to see you there, too. Could I have your FB?
She: Yes. My FB is ...
Me: Thank you so much. I sent you a friend request.
She: OK.
Me: I have to go, and I hope to see you soon.
Me: Will I see you again?
She: Yes!
Me: Thanks. Bye.

She didn't expect me to say goodbye that soon, but I didn't want to ruin things. I think that she was not really interested in me. She didn't even ask me any question. I asked her about her major and the welcome events that she went to, and she answered all of my question. I tried to make her laugh, but I couldn't. She was in all dance parties in our university. She was very young. She was just 18, and I wish I could find someone older.

---------------------

I met another girl today in the library, but I couldn't talk to her. She looked good and more mature. I don't know if I will meet her today. As I wrote, I should talk to Shani today. She asked me to talk in the university, and she didn't accept my invitation for the dinner last night. I don't know if it is a good sign or a bad sign. Perhaps, she is not looking for a relationship, or it is not a big deal for her that I am going to talk to her. She definitely know that I am going to ask her to think about a serious relationship, but I don't know if she is looking for a short-term or a very long-term one. I am a little stressful. In one hand, I like her, and I would like her to be my girlfriend. On the other hand, she is very different from what I am looking for, and I know that I can't marry her like this. In addition, she probably doesn't practice any major religion, and if it is true, I can't even date her.

I will meet her tonight, and I will know about it. I know that God saves me if he doesn't want me to be with Shani. I trust him more than anything else in my world.

Awesome view of our cafe

I faced a weird view in my university's cafe. All chairs were upside down! I liked it, so I took its picture.