I slept 2 am last night, and I woke up 10 am, but I was very tired. I am sick of my project because I am very alone, and it is not a project that one can do all of the parts single handed. In addition, some parts are complicated, and it needs a better design. I don't want to re-do it, but it seems that it is unavoidable. I needed to design some parts before start developing it, so I sat in the library, and I started to work there. A pretty girl was there, and her boyfriend showed up a few minutes after that, and they left there together.
I felt that I couldn't work there, and I needed a quite place; therefore, I headed to the engineering department. I changed my mind unexpectedly, and I decided to see Talory for one more time. I decided to sit in her class and work there. I did that. Her class was at 1 pm, but she arrived 12:45 pm. We were very far from each other. There were only four other students other than us. I looked at her several times, and I figured out that the other girl whom I saw with that boy was not Talory. I didn't want her to see that I looked at her, so I put my head down, and I started to continue designing on my project. However, in a moment, I turned my head up, and I looked at her, and she looked at me in the same moment. She noticed me, and I looked down again to steal my eyesight from her. I couldn't see her, but I noticed that she left the classroom because she was the only girl on the other side of the class. I scared. She definitely had seen me. I didn't want this to happen.
The other friend whom was with her came to the class and sat in another row, but she was close to me. It surprised me because I thought that they were good friends, and she would go and sit next to Talory, but she sat next to another boy. I was working that I noticed Talory coming toward me. I freaked out. "Is she going to talk to me? Why she had such a reaction? Should I say hello to her? Should I leave the classroom? What should I do?..." I thought to myself, and I got very stressful. I had sit very far from her, and I didn't want to do anything with her, but her reaction was very unexpected. She went to the other girl who was very close to me in the other row, and asked her if she could sit there. They weren't friends; otherwise, she shouldn't have asked her this. I turned my head to the right, and I could see her that was very close to me. I saw her bracelet and half of her face. She didn't look at me, but I knew that she came to sit there because of me. She started to talk to the other girl. It was like that she wanted to sit there for the rest of the class to be close to me.
"Is it a good sign or a bad sign?" I thought to myself, "Why does she want to sit closer to me? I didn't mean anything. Should I be cool and say hi to her or I should leave? She doesn't want to talk to me or see me. Otherwise, she could come to me and start talking to me and not the other girl. In addition, she knew that I liked her. I think that she was angry when she talked to that girl." I was scared. I felt that she put her guards up, and she is going to smash me as soon as I say one word to her. My heart started to beat fast. I couldn't even talk any more. It was 12:55 pm, and the class could start in any minutes; so, I decided to leave there without even talking to her, letting her thinking that it was an accident that I was there, and making her sure that I didn't want to do anything with her.
It was a very bad experience though. I never expected her to have such a reaction. In addition, I can't say anything about her intention. She wanted to be closer to me either because she had decided to devastate me if I start a conversation or she simply wanted to be closer to me to have a chance to talk to me after her class. Nevertheless, according to all evidences, she didn't like me, and it was the biggest risk to start a conversation with her. The risk of losing her for the rest of my life. So, I made a logical decision by leaving her class without saying a word. I may decide to do the same thing next week.
I felt that I couldn't work there, and I needed a quite place; therefore, I headed to the engineering department. I changed my mind unexpectedly, and I decided to see Talory for one more time. I decided to sit in her class and work there. I did that. Her class was at 1 pm, but she arrived 12:45 pm. We were very far from each other. There were only four other students other than us. I looked at her several times, and I figured out that the other girl whom I saw with that boy was not Talory. I didn't want her to see that I looked at her, so I put my head down, and I started to continue designing on my project. However, in a moment, I turned my head up, and I looked at her, and she looked at me in the same moment. She noticed me, and I looked down again to steal my eyesight from her. I couldn't see her, but I noticed that she left the classroom because she was the only girl on the other side of the class. I scared. She definitely had seen me. I didn't want this to happen.
The other friend whom was with her came to the class and sat in another row, but she was close to me. It surprised me because I thought that they were good friends, and she would go and sit next to Talory, but she sat next to another boy. I was working that I noticed Talory coming toward me. I freaked out. "Is she going to talk to me? Why she had such a reaction? Should I say hello to her? Should I leave the classroom? What should I do?..." I thought to myself, and I got very stressful. I had sit very far from her, and I didn't want to do anything with her, but her reaction was very unexpected. She went to the other girl who was very close to me in the other row, and asked her if she could sit there. They weren't friends; otherwise, she shouldn't have asked her this. I turned my head to the right, and I could see her that was very close to me. I saw her bracelet and half of her face. She didn't look at me, but I knew that she came to sit there because of me. She started to talk to the other girl. It was like that she wanted to sit there for the rest of the class to be close to me.
"Is it a good sign or a bad sign?" I thought to myself, "Why does she want to sit closer to me? I didn't mean anything. Should I be cool and say hi to her or I should leave? She doesn't want to talk to me or see me. Otherwise, she could come to me and start talking to me and not the other girl. In addition, she knew that I liked her. I think that she was angry when she talked to that girl." I was scared. I felt that she put her guards up, and she is going to smash me as soon as I say one word to her. My heart started to beat fast. I couldn't even talk any more. It was 12:55 pm, and the class could start in any minutes; so, I decided to leave there without even talking to her, letting her thinking that it was an accident that I was there, and making her sure that I didn't want to do anything with her.
It was a very bad experience though. I never expected her to have such a reaction. In addition, I can't say anything about her intention. She wanted to be closer to me either because she had decided to devastate me if I start a conversation or she simply wanted to be closer to me to have a chance to talk to me after her class. Nevertheless, according to all evidences, she didn't like me, and it was the biggest risk to start a conversation with her. The risk of losing her for the rest of my life. So, I made a logical decision by leaving her class without saying a word. I may decide to do the same thing next week.
No comments:
Post a Comment