Tuesday, February 18, 2014

A gloomy day

I had to work on my course project today. I can't remember the part of my dream that I was laughing with Luna. I also had a dream that I was in a pray (سجده).

Today was a very gloomy day. I started to work on documentation of that project from noon to evening. My team members were lazy in finishing their works. I also had done nothing until today. In the evening, when I was returning from my prayer, I saw two ABG members. According to the rules, we should greet; otherwise, I didn't want to do that.

The girl: "You should wear your pin."
Me: "I don't have a pin."
The girl: "Oh, I remembered it. You haven't gotten a pin yet."
...
Me: "I may drop."

Me: "I wanted to do that last night, but I thought it is better to think more about it."
The girl: "Did you tell G...?"
Me: "No, I will do that later."
The girl: "Why? Don't say that you don't have time. It was not your type?"
Me: "No, I have my own reasons. I had some goals that I couldn't meet anymore. The reason that I joined ABG is not there anymore."
The girl: "What do you mean?"
Me: "I don't mean anything. I had some goals that are not possible to achieve them there anymore."
The girl: "uhmmm... Was it being with friends or something?"
Me: "Sometimes."
She looked at the other boy and said, "I knew it; I knew it; Let's go," like a detector who solved a problem. "What's happened?" the boy asked her while leaving me. They even forgot to say good bye to me. That was so weird. I have never expected her to say that. Probably, it was because Luna was different and girls were jealous because of her astonishing beauty. I should write something and explain them why I am going to drop before they judge anything.

I was gloomy all the day. All awesome feelings that I had these a few weeks had gone. I even didn't want to talk to anybody. I became a reserved aloof boy who needed to be alone to recover again. I came home, and I opened FB. I wanted to ask her if I could write about our chat conversations, but I don't think that I do that anymore. I even wanted to unfriend her, but I postponed this decision to sometime later. I saw Luna shared some photos being with her boyfriend in a festival, and also her best song ever:


You're happy, I'm happy. You are never going to understand me.

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