Marriage Problem Analysis

I chatted with my mom several times this month. There are always two major topics in our conversation. First, she is concerned about my sister who has not married yet. Second, she wants me to marry an Iranian girl from her friends or someone who she knows.

I thought about it, I can't marry someone in my home country because of several reasons:

1- My visa in single entry. It is a big risk if I want to go back to Iran now. I may not get visa again.
2- I need to know someone before marriage. Even though I took the risk and go back there, I can't stay more than 3 months. How can I know someone and marry her in this short amount of time?
3- Let's suppose that I could marry someone where. What if she couldn't get visa then?
4- If I get my degree, I can't go back to my home country because I need to server two years in military. In fact, I loose all my advantages of getting a degree here.
5- Even If I marry one of them, I can't go back to my home country because of military services, and she will need to visit her family in Iran, and I can't go with her. It may cause lots of problems in the future.

I have two options only; either find someone here, or go back to my home country forever. I don't want to go back there without getting a GC here because I loose many things. A degree is not enough for the things I am going to do. In addition, I am here, and I am 30 now, and it takes at least three years to finish my degree. So, I have three years to decide about staying here or not. Therefore, I just need to focus on the first option, finding someone here.

If I want to marry someone here, I have three choices. First, I can choose an American girl because there are so many of them living here. Second, I can find an Iranian second generation. They are the best because they are both Iranian and American. Third, I can marry an Iranian student who has the similar situation like me.

Since there are so many American girl here, I need to know whether I can live with them or not. I can't start with Taylor definitely, but I can meet any other girl. Second generation Iranian are rare to find. If I could find, I seriously consider her. Iranian students are good, but there are not many choices again, and it should be hard to find a match. So, the first thing is to know about American girls.

I pushed the accelerator more than I should

I went with Martin and Henry to see another car, a Honda Accord 2005 - 93K 6500$, for Henry. We checked the carfax, and it had only a minor accident reported. When we saw the car, the accident was more than a minor one. It had a severe front damage. Although they tried to fix it, but it was not fixed completely. We decided not to buy it.

I made a mistake tonight, and I pushed the accelerator more than I should when I wanted to park my car in Martin's house parking. I don't know what's happened that I did that, and the car went up the cement block there. I and Martin got shocked after that. I wanted to adjust my parking, but I made that mistake. I felt very very sad after that. I was happy from the morning because of finding Lily, but this made me so sad. Why should I be that careless? Fortunately, nothing happened, and the car didn't get damaged a lot. Maybe I was hungry. Maybe I was thinking about Lily. Maybe I just wanted to stop the car without thinking about what am I doing. I don't know, but I hope that this never happen again. 

I met a pretty girl today

I went to my university cafe today after my class. I saw a pretty girl who was ordering a sandwich from Subway. She had a white skin, beautiful brown hair and gray colored eyes. Her hair was like Taylor's hair style (fearless Taylor obviously), and it was attracting to me. Her dress was also beautiful, and it sounded to me that she was a good girl.

I sat somewhere, and I waited for her. I was far from her, and I couldn't see her. It took ten minutes that she got her food. She sat somewhere that was not far and not near me. It was a few tables away, but I could see her. I wanted to go and talk to her, but I didn't know how to start the conversation. I played with my cellphone to pretend that I am reading something or doing something. Then, I decided to take her picture. I made mistake because its flash was on, and I don't know if anybody saw the flash or not. After all these efforts, the picture quality was not good because she was farther than I expected.

I didn't know what to do. I opened my laptop and started to write my time-sheet.

A voice: "Why don't you go and talk to her."
Me: Because I can't.
A voice: "Why? Are you looking for someone better than her?"
Me: "Let's see. No. She is good enough. I think that I like her."
A voice: "See her. She is alone as you asked for. She doesn't have a boyfriend because of she is sitting there alone. She is friendly, and she may want to make a friend and that's why she is here."
Me: "I know, but what can I do?"
A voice: "She may leave here soon. If you don't talk to her, you may never see her again."
Me: "OK. What should I say her?"
A voice: "Anything. Just go and say hi."
Me: "Let me find something to say first." (I started to find something to say, but I couldn't find anything.)

Me: "But look at that girl who sat near her. What if she hear me. I can't, if she stays there."
A voice: "OK. I ask her go, so you can have confidence."
And that girl went.

Me: [O God, I know that it was you. I know that you made everything for me to make it happen, but it is tough for me.] I decided to go and talk to her anyhow. I left my seat, and I walked a few steps toward her. Then, I stopped and stared at the TV near me.
A voice: "Why did you stop? Go. You already went half of way. I believe that you can make it."
Me: "OKKKKKKKKKKK. I am going."

She was reading or writing something. I walked a few more steps and reached the table that she sat there. I wanted to pass the table without talking to her, but I changed my mind in the last step.

Me: "Hi."
She: "Hi."
Me: "Are you grading something?"
She: "No, I don't."
Me: "I saw your papers, and I thought that you are a TA here and you are grading something."
She: "No. I am used to use different colors for my notes."
Me: "They look beautiful!"
She: [smile] "Thank you."
Me: "You are so pretty. Where are you from?"
She: "I am from here. I am living on-campus now" [I am an American, can't you really see?]
Me: "I know. I mean your origin, your parents."
She: "My parents are from Finland."
Me: "Oh, so you are European, that's why you look different."
She: "Thank you. Maybe."

Me: "What is your major?"
She: "I am interested in History, but I am studying biology now."
Me: "What the relationship between these two?"
She: [smiled] "I don't know."
Me: "If you are interested in History why are you studying Biology." (She smiled; it means that she liked my humor. so, I can give her my number.)
She: "These are core courses that every student need to study. This is my first semester here. Is it your first semester?"
Me: "No. Actually it is my second year, my third semester. Previous year I was very busy, but this year... well... I have more free time. I am looking for a friend to spend my time with her. I would be so happy, if you could accompany me."
She: "Do you have a meal plan here?"
Me: "No. Why?"
She: "I usually go to the dining hall everyday with my friends. You can join us if you would like."
Me: "I don't have a meal plan, but I think that I can pay for it daily. OK. Let me give you my number."

She: "You can write your number here." (she pointed to her notes)

Me: "No, wait. Here it is." (and I gave her my business card)
She: "So, next time I call you for it."
Me: "Thank you."
She: "I have a class, and I need to go."
Me: "I am also have a class, but not now. maybe an hour from now, but I go to the library to study."

Me: "I am Woody by the way."
She: [Should I say my name to him? Maybe.] "My name is Lily."
Me: "Is there any relationship between you and Lily in "How I met your mother""
She: [Don't be gross, but OK, it was a little funny, so I smile] "No, but I like that show" [not that much.] "Sometimes my friends call me Lily pad because of that :)"

And we walked together. I started to talk about my thesis and some differences between here and Iran. I wanted to go to the library, but I thought that she was OK to walk with me, so I went with her to near her class. I probably talked more than I should because I didn't let her say anything.

Me: "OK Lily, it was very nice to meet you."

I left her, but I was so happy because she was a very nice girl. How soft her hand was when we were hand-shaking. Later, I thought that she should be very young (maybe 18-19) because it was her first semester, and she still didn't decide about her major. I don't know if I gonna date her someday, but I know that she is a very good friend. She is also a very wise girl. I don't know if she calls me again or not, but I wish I could marry a girl as nice as she someday.

I waited all the time after that to receive her call for today's lunch, but I didn't. I couldn't even understand anything in my classes when the professor was teaching. I talked to Martin and Henry about her. They were both excited. They called me "groom" when I went to Henry's lab, and we laughed a lot about it. They may not know that I may just want to have a friend. She may not even call me again.

Another car for Henry again

I found Henry a good deal in the cars.com. I thought that it was similar to my car. The price was very good, and it doesn't seem to be anything wrong with the car. We went to see the car with Henry and Martin. It was a good car, but it had an accident (or more than one) in the front. They even leaved the engine on the fly. So, we decided not to buy it.

A car playing day :)

That Altima owner called Henry last night and cancelled the appointment they had to sell the car. He said that the company plan had changed, and he needed to stay more in the US. Therefore, we decided to go and see other cars.

At first, we saw a Civic 2004. The Korean owner of the car was not really reliable. He said that he bought the car from the dealer one month ago in the name of his niece, but he didn't get the visa to come to the US. Because of that and because the car had an accident, we decided not to buy it.

Then we saw another Altima. It was not far from there. It was a good car. But the seller didn't want to give any discount for it. In his ad, it was mentioned that the price is plus the tax and registration fees, however, he said that he meant that the buyer should pay it. I tried to explain it for him that the ad was not correct, but he couldn't understand. By the way, Henry couldn't afford the price. It was 7000$ before tax.

Then, we went and see another car. It was another 2006 Altima 100K. When we started the car, there was a noise in engine. We said this to the dealer, but he said that it was OK. Later, we checked the carfax, and it had two accidents. The dealer was Iranian who came to the US thirty years ago. He wanted to sell this car to us, but it was definitely not a good car. Henry was tired, and they had a party at night, so I brought him to his home.

It is fun and driving experience and a good thing to help Henry to buy a car. I am happy that even though I am learning how to drive, I can help others.

I am happy because I found a direction for my thesis topic

I talked to my professors yesterday. I talked about a paper that used machine learning for diagnosis of COPD. They agreed that it could be a good topic to work on it. In addition, I found a very good news about a telemedicine platform developed in Temple University that focused on this disease. If I can duplicate their work with my own method, I am done with my thesis. And it would be very useful one day.

The only problem is that I don't know anything about this disease and I am not a doctor. In order to do this project, I need to read many medical documents and papers full of medical jargon. It should be very hard for me, but I am going to give it a try. I talked to my friend last night, and he said something that encouraged me to start working on this project. He said, "As a computer man, we need to learn the domain that we are going to work on that. If you are going to develop an accounting software, you need to go and learn accounting. It is also true about this medical software. Hopefully, you need to learn only one disease that should be tractable, and the results could be amazing." I am completely agree with him. It takes time, but if I can get satisfactory results out of this project, I did something special. It is something that I couldn't even think about it in Iran. It is something that can make a big difference. My results can help millions of people who are suffering from a disease. I can't cure them, but I can help them, and what can be better than this?

I am very happy that I found an interesting topic to work on that. Now, I know what am I going to do in my PhD, and it was a very big step for me. Although I don't have a thesis topic yet, I know what the direction could be, and I may find a topic as soon as I know more about the problems and have a hypothesis about a solution to those problems. I am happy that I am forwarding toward my goals.

She was ugly :(

I did my best to be prepared me to meet that girl that I saw last week, and I liked her. I was very confident in the morning, but 30 minutes before going there, I had lots of stress. I don't know why. I went to her class, and I saw her. I don't know maybe I didn't see her, and I saw somebody else. I tried to pretend that I wanted to know about the class. I approached her, and tried to ask a question.

Me: "Hi. Is it Dr. W...'s class?"
She: "Yes. It is." [So what?]
Me: [Oh my god how ugly is she. Is she the same person or she is another person.] Do you know the topic for today's class?
She: No. I don't know, but the TA is standing there. You can ask him.
Me: Which one is the TA?
She: That one. [Now go].
Me: Is he teaching or the professor? [Let me see you more, is that you or you are another person?!]
She: I don't know. Go and ask himself. [Leave me alone.]
Me: "OK. Thanks."

And I left her. I asked TA about the course, but I really didn't want to know that. When I came out of the class, I tried to look at her again. I don't know if she was the same person or not. I looked at her several times, but I couldn't remember the girl that I saw last week. She put her hand under her chick, and I realized that she should be the same person. Maybe she wore another shirt, or had another bag, but she had the same habit of putting her hand under her chick.

"What a mistake I made. She was ugly. She was completely different from last week. Maybe it was not she. Maybe I met another girl. I was interested in a wrong girl, and I thought about seeing her all the week. I liked the girl that I saw at the library today, but I didn't talk to her because of this ugly girl." I thought to myself. Maybe she was not ugly, but I didn't like her. This was the story of my potential girlfriend.