Tough days

I had so many tough days these days. It was mostly because of what happened between me and Ann. Kids, when you are living outside of your born country, you become more emotionally vulnerable. It happened to me these days. I even couldn't sleep some nights to the morning

I tried to distract myself by working more on my project, and watching more Taylor's videos and reading more about dating a celebrity. I tried to be more alone. I didn't go anywhere for new year celebration. I tried to be more with others. I tried everything that I thought it might be helpful. It helped, but not that much. I had these moments that a drop dripped down my cheek feeling no one could understand it.

I really tried to forget everything. It was not because of Ann. It was because of myself. In fact, if she was not dating anybody, we still couldn't be together because of so many reasons. I know that it was something that should happen. It is true that it is very rare I see a girl who I really like, but I am pretty sure that I can find someone better than her. I missed Taylor so much. I wish she could be the fearless Taylor again.

I feel that I am less religious in comparison to a year ago. It maybe because I didn't spend enough time for it. I didn't even read Masnavi since last year. Or it may simply because of living in the US. I don't know. I need to recover myself again. These days will end soon, and they will bring their memories with them. 2013 is over. I have a great hope that 2014 is going to be a great year.