I was awake until 2 am to see all Ann's photos. It was unbelievable. She had more than 600 photos and they were awesome. I knew her better than any other person by just looking at her photos. She was exactly as awesome as I thought. She was a kind of Taylor by reading all those crime books, and being so playful and happy all the time. She was like super models in her photos. I even saw her previous boyfriend, and her interests, and so many other things.
During the day, I was unsure to meet Ann. I didn't even go to the library. Since her exam was late in the night, I just wanted to give myself some time to think about that I was going to do. I wanted to work on my project, but I couldn't because I couldn't concentrate on it. I walked in the hallways and open environments of the university for at least two hours to get relaxed. It was a very hard decision. Finally, I decided to talk to her. It was my last chance to see her before holidays.
I couldn't find that exam sessions list, but I went to a place that it was more probable to see her there as her classes were there. I entered the room. There were more than 250 students in the room. I tried to find Ann there. There were only four girls with hair color similar to her, and none of them was Ann. Ann was not there. I didn't know where I could find her. I even couldn't enter another room because the exam was started. I got disappointed, and I went back home. The weather was very very cold.
When I went home at night, I was so sad. I started to cry and fight with God because of Ann. "Why should I see her in my life? Why didn't you help me? ..." There were so many thoughts in my mind, and I was just complaining to God because of everything that happened between us. I cried to the point that I couldn't remember when I fell into sleep.
During the day, I was unsure to meet Ann. I didn't even go to the library. Since her exam was late in the night, I just wanted to give myself some time to think about that I was going to do. I wanted to work on my project, but I couldn't because I couldn't concentrate on it. I walked in the hallways and open environments of the university for at least two hours to get relaxed. It was a very hard decision. Finally, I decided to talk to her. It was my last chance to see her before holidays.
I couldn't find that exam sessions list, but I went to a place that it was more probable to see her there as her classes were there. I entered the room. There were more than 250 students in the room. I tried to find Ann there. There were only four girls with hair color similar to her, and none of them was Ann. Ann was not there. I didn't know where I could find her. I even couldn't enter another room because the exam was started. I got disappointed, and I went back home. The weather was very very cold.
When I went home at night, I was so sad. I started to cry and fight with God because of Ann. "Why should I see her in my life? Why didn't you help me? ..." There were so many thoughts in my mind, and I was just complaining to God because of everything that happened between us. I cried to the point that I couldn't remember when I fell into sleep.
Two points should be mentioned :
ReplyDeleteFirst, you have to change, "I didn't know where could I find her", to , "I didn't know where I could find her".
Second, you have to change, "I couldn't remember when did I fall into sleep", to ,"I couldn't remember when I fell into sleep".
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You cried? unbelievable! I didn't think you're such an emotional man! let me tell you something, the more you get obsessed with that girl, the more you become sad.
Try to keep it balance, relax, it would be a disaster to see Ann again, you just insist on doing it in a wrong way.
Focus on your own values, try to distract yourself from those thoughts.I think you're highly affected by the atmosphere which is dominating in the university.Most of the guys have girl friends and you don't have one.I don't know your age so it's hard to predict what you're through but I know you're a guy who tries to keep himself in himself.I partially can feel how you feel when you want to write these conversations and that's the only reason I'm here.I love your idea, point of view, and self-confidence.
You know what’s to be said, we said out loud, we never said.
./Familiar Stranger