Tuesday, May 7, 2013

Marriage thinking problems

I took all my final exams the previous week. I just need to be prepared for my qualifying exams. These days I just study for those exams. Yesterday, I discovered that people find dates in the library. I went there to borrow some books for my exams that I saw an American girl in a beautiful red dress that was looking for a book. A boy came near to her, and started talking to her. I found my books, and when I was going to leave there, I saw them talking and laughing loudly together. I noticed two other couples who got acquainted there, too.

I think that if I was in the US, I had married until today. It sounds very easy as you can find jobs and have your income and be economically independent. Even finding a good girl is not that hard. There are many of them in my university. I am just older, and my expectations are grown up with me. If I was 23-25, I could date girls easier. I think that my age has a negative effect on my feelings about the girls. Some of them sounds good to me, but as soon as I start to think living with them for my entire life, I can't continue to even think about them. I should have married sooner, but I couldn't. Now, my rationality overcomes my emotions most of the times.

Just as an example, if I was born here in the US, and I was 22-23, undoubtedly I would ask someone like Angelina to date me because I liked her. Even tough she was not a good match for me, my emotions wouldn't allow me to consider the future. But now, I can't stop thinking about the future of being with someone before liking her.

Being a perfectionist is sometimes hard to deal with. This also adds more complexity to my problems.

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