Angelina's gift

Last week of our classes, Angelina's team had a presentation. Their presentation was the best among all the teams. I noticed that American boy was one of his teammates in that class. He waited for Angelina after the class, and talked to her. 

In our second class, I sent Angelina an SMS and asked her to walk with me to the parking lots, so that I could give her the gift I bought for her. We walked together and talked about the presentation. I told her that their presentation was the best among the other teams. She said that people were mean to them by asking insane questions. I felt that how different is our worlds. I felt that I am so mature that I don't care about these trivial things. So, I explained to her that she answered them very well and it was the nature of our class to ask questions.

The weather was cold, and windy. I was waiting for a better condition to give her that gift, but it sounds that the wind was not going to stop. I brought her gift out of my bag, and gave it to her. She told me, "You didn't need to do that. It was not a big deal."

I couldn't say anything. I don't know what was the reason. Was it because it was cold? Was it because I didn't know what to say?

"What should I do know? Should I open it now?" she asked.

"Yes. Why not?" I said.

And she opened the gift wrap. "Oh, that's so cute! Thank you." she said.

She became very happy, but couldn't express her feelings. I expected her to become more happy, but it didn't happen so I became confused whether she liked it or not. I was just drowned in my thoughts. I didn't know what to say to her. Maybe wind caused my breath to stop. Then she opened her hands and cuddle me while keeping her distant. I don't know what was wrong with me. I just found myself in that position standing near her doing nothing. "Oh, come on man. What are you doing? Didn't you want to hug her? So?" the thought passed through my mind. I just noticed that my hands are not around her. I opened my hands, but I couldn't cuddle her. I just slapped on her shoulder a few times while she was thinking to herself that why I did that so late when she was going to finish that hug! And it finished.

We continued walking together toward her apartment. I was thinking to myself, "Although I like her, I couldn't hug her. I am much older than her. I even don't know how to talk to her. What does she think about me? I am not going to marry her, but should I ask her for being friends?" She was talking about her project, but my mind was obsessed with those thoughts. 

"Will you come to the university in the summer?" I asked.

"No. I got an internship in [] that is far from here. It's like an old-fashioned city." she answered.

"I wish I could spend some of my time with you in the summer." I said.

"Facebook is the best way to keep updated with me. I write my status there." she said.

It was almost near her apartment. "OK. I should go back to my office." I said.

"OK. Bye." she said.

"Bye." I said.

I left her, but I was unhappy. It was such a cold conversation, and maybe our last meeting for the entire summer. I couldn't say anything that I wanted to say her. I didn't know even what I wanted to say her. I could go with her to her apartment. Why did I leave her that soon? Maybe she expected me to talk more to her? or she felt that I was insincere by giving her gifts and not loving her. Not only I lost my chance to hug her, but also I lost my chance to be more friendlier to her. I can't express my thoughts and feelings, and so does she. All these things were in my mind when I left her. I looked back and saw her leaving me toward her apartment, but I couldn't hear what was she thinking about.