A loser

I feel like a loser these days. Samuel told me the previous semester, "You become a loser since you came to the US." I analysed his words today completely.

Failures:
1- failed to win the business idea competition
2- failed to win the hackathon
3- failed to develop my own idea (map), and start my own business
4- failed to find a research area and professor
5- failed to get an internship position in large companies like Microsoft, Google,.... (they didn't even select my resume)
6- failed to get an internship from start-up companies (I just got 2 interviews without any success)
7- failed to find an American friend (Angelina is still in progress after four months without any hope for success)
8- failed to buy a car (I spent lots of time to do that without any results; I shouldn't have spent that time)
9- failed to continue my previous writings (unexpected problem happened)
10- failed to keep social communications with other people (due to unexpected severe depression)
11- failed to keep my plans for reading books and praying (a big failure)
...

Lots of them happened in this semester. In fact, I am satisfied from my performance in the previous semester, but the problem is started from this semester.

Causes of failures:

1- unexpected homesick and emotional issues (depression)
I should have done this failure analysis a lot before. I could decrease my homesick effects by knowing it and changing my direction.

2- underestimating processes of job hunting, car buying, friend making, business launching, ...

I should have better estimation of all started processes by studying more and consulting more people. It was one of my biggest mistakes during this semester. I need to gather more information in the summer to have better estimation. Lots of wrong calculations intensified my homesick.

3- Very bad plan for the summer (I was not certain about going for internship)

I had no plan for my summer from the beginning of this semester. I spent hours and hours writing resumes and applying to the companies without having a certain plan for going to an internship position. I focused on all large companies without having the required qualifications.

Next
Despite these failures, I had some achievements; however, they are not enough to cover all these failures. I will analyse them later after my qualifying exam. Failure in it or bad grades in my courses really completes this collection. I have no chance other than passing it.